The next step?

It's been over a year since the last time I posted here and I've been joggling a lot of blogs lately but then I remembered, maybe it's high time I go back and do a serious blog entry again and where else to post that than here.

Where basically random thoughts just seem to pop up...

As I look back to where I was a year ago, I remember all the stress of thinking about my OJT requirements and if we were going to pass our THESIS or not. And now, what am I worried about? The result of an English exam that will either make it or break it for me to study abroad which requirements I have been putting off as of late in doing.

I guess, the title still hands up there. What am I going to do next?

In all honesty, I am in the middle when people asked am I happy. I am but I am also not. I hate being stuck in a routine but yet I am in my current life. I hate being ordinary, I hate having a planned schedule although most personality tests say that I am a well-organized person (believe me just see my table and you'd say the result was invalid).

Semester break is coming up and I never thought I'd be able to experience something like that again bit here I am. I don't have work when there is a suspension of classes. I live about 10 minutes away from where I work. And I'm the last person to leave the house but the first to return. And I earn my own money which I spent twice as fast.

I'm also a very sick person who hides the fact that she has heart palpitations and migraines from her parents. I am on steroids everyday and I am slowly turning into a walking bowling ball.

Plus the fact that I am turning 21 this Saturday is really no big deal at all.

That's probably the stressor of this blog entry. Or the fact that I was just in a writer of a mood tonight. Well we still got tonight (pun for the current song playing in my Itunes from Matthew Morrison). And then we have Avril's Complicated. :)

I'd better conclude this before I start ranting or prolonging your agony because you are just curious and want to see how this ends.

What is the next step? The next step is to close this laptop, get into bed, maybe read a few pages of the current book I am reading, update Twitter one last time for the day, close my eyes and relish the sleep and rest. Because tomorrow is another day, is another challenge, is another round of life and we will never know what it has in store for us.

(I do have an inkling in the image of a 3rd grader who makes my blood boil because he is such a spoiled brat but never mind that.)

So if you are at the cross roads and do not know what to do, take a deep breathe and rest for a while because God knows, you've earned it.

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