I'm sorry but I cannot voice this out anywhere because it will be subject to people's scrutiny if I post this in Facebook or in Twitter so I have no where else but here.

I'm a coin when it comes to issues concerning the Student Government of my university, one main reason is because I am also part of the student media office, the school paper and I need to be unbiased when it comes to issues.

My boss in the Student Government is really a guy you can rely on. I've known him for how long and I know sometimes he has his head set out for him but I know he genuinely wants to help his fellow Lasallians, but sometimes he does go out of his way so that he will be remembered but there is still the desire to help people. It's not his fault his party is such a load of douche bags and gits. My boss stayed in school yesterday night because other students got stranded. We had a meeting and he ended it early so that we could all get home safely and I knew he was going home. That's why it was a surprise to me that at around 10 pm he was still in school.

His actions were for the flood victims. Not for your blue and yellow ideals, it was for La Salle and La Salle alone.

On the other hand, how could my boss let this happen. Why did he allow himself to be used like this for the campaign of his party? It's just down right disgraceful because hello! It's not about you guys! It's about everyone else who is suffering due to the weather.

It's really just disgraceful. Other people are out there suffering and we are here sharing about how a person gave my post a box of pizza because of a job well done. Well FYI, he's job is not yet done.

I want to thank my boss for what he did and at the same time tell him to ask people to take it down. Be humble. We all know what you did, we don't need to broadcast it. The right people know already so just stop it.

I arrived home, stressed and mad because the Internet was acting up again.

I resorted to the broadband my sister which is now technically mine because she doesn't use it, owns. And for a while, my computer wasn't the extended part of my body.

I actually watched two movies with my mom who was sick today. Both were romantic films but also were just as good as Sherlock Holmes anyway. :)

I also managed to get my homework done.

What striked me the most, was how I was able to actually leave the front screen of my laptop and do something else. Like fix my file case, get some stuff done actually, watch a movie...all the things I've been missing because I've been far too hooked into the internet.

Now that the internet miraculously fixed itself, I'm its slave once again. But I'll be looking forward to the weekend, were I will be in Tagaytay, somewhat away from the buzz of the Internet and actually having a STOP experience, looking at things that actually do matter in a sense, things that are beautiful and not stressful...just like the things I still have to do.

kai-Out!

Technically it's tomorrow but maybe I really need to prepare myself already.

School is back on tomorrow. For most people, it was today. I, on the other hand, school starts tomorrow.

I did go to school today for a while to fix my sections. Now I'm taking Cognitive Psychology under a good teacher who I've had before. Down side, I have to wake up very early just to be sure I get to his class on time.

I haven't really written a worthy blog entry for quite some time now. I've always rushed it, never really thinking about writing but was more fixated on updating this with an entry for each day of the year (which never seems to happen for the past three years this blog has been up.)

My last third term in college starts tomorrow and well the issue of the future came up again and I find myself more confused than ever about it. What do I do after college? What will my job be like? I said I wanted something out of the ordinary, something adventurous but those aren't practical at all. There's imaginative, I need to be realistic.

But in the end, I'd rather be poor but imaginative than rich and realistic.

I guess what brought this up is tomorrow. Start of the final third term of my life...I guess I'm just scared...terrified. But again who isn't.

If any of you reading this is from De La Salle University then you will know what I am talking about...

Right now I am very pissed at something/someone/some people. I know maybe I am judging them/it but I am feeling I am in the right...

It's just how they/it took advantage of certain current events that they want to boost their popularity. From my point of view, you aren't helping anyone at all and you're certainly making yourself a target of bad reps from those above.

Do yourself a favor and just don't act like you're too important when the people are what's truly important. Everyone is doing something for everyone else. And maybe the reason why the people you are fighting are taking their time is because they have a lot to loose.

Do yourself a favor and quit being such an ass about things. You're not making yourself look good, you aren't making your rival look any less and you are certainly not helping the people.

I am neither for you or against you but geez, enough is enough already. What are you the public's voice. The people have voiced out their concern already and they don't need you riding on it, showing off like you are some sort of hero.

Just stop it. You're not helping at all.

I don't know why....I just don't know why I am making such a big deal of the 9th year that he is in heaven.

Before, this day was an ordinary day. Sure it was his last here on Earth but today, this year, this 9th time something is different.

Maybe I'm just pitying myself because of stress in school...

It's just this August 26, 2010 is different from the past 9 August 26 that my brother has been dead.

Something is different about today that I feel I just should write about it.

I meant the title above. Everything I am today, a fan of Anime and a lot of other boyish stuff is all because of my brother. He introduced me to all of this, so if there is someone to blame for me being childish most of the time, it would have to be my brother.

Reached a mental block here. Something is really different this 9th year. Is it really because of the bad news I got earlier today? Or is it because it is also the last day of the term? I really don't know.

I mean, I can't even remember what happened last year on this day....

But I clearly remember what I was doing at any given time exactly today, 9 years ago.

Why am I making such a fuss about today? Why am I such making a fuss about my deceased brother on his 9th death anniversary?

Maybe its because I got used to the fact already that we are really 4 in the family and not 5... Is it because of that?

Do I blame him for what I received this morning in class?

Am I scared that he'll suddenly show up and scold me for all the things I have promised but never did?

All I know is I am making such a big deal about today and I really don't know why...

It's actually a big relief writing all this down. I don't know if I want people to actually read this or not but I will post in anywhere I want to...

I do miss my brother. I wished we had more time together. I'm envious when I hear my friends talk about how close they are with their older brothers, how even if they tease each other, they still love spending time with one another.

Maybe that's it...I can't really remember having a brother figure in life and I wish I could but it was such a long time ago. I miss having him around. Someone to goof of with. Someone who can drive me wherever I want....but I highly doubt Kuya Ricky would do that.

I'm making such a big deal of today that I don't even know if I want this day to end or not.

All I know is today is the 26th of August. A lot of people are celebrating their birthdays, a lot of my friends are celebrating their birthdays. My family is celebrating his birthday in heaven.

Exactly 9 years ago today, my brother died. I don't even know the cause of death but I don't care. He had Bone Cancer. He was 15 when he died.

He died without any of us near him. He was on his bed, in his room, all alone.

And what i truly and utterly know. What is true, what is a fact....is that I miss him and I love him.

We were doing a video about Math in everyday life. We wrapped it up earlier today.

Now as I was listening to music and surfed some pictures on TUMBLR, I saw something. In Tumblr, there is a Radar of things in the site that might amuse the user. As I looked at it, I was surprised.

It was titled "Mathematics in Movies". And I thought to myself, "Man this should have appeared earlier."

It is weird that it would show up now when we are finally finished because some of the ideas we could have used. But I guess a perfectly cliche phrase can sum up this moment.

"Oh well..."

Have you ever been betrayed?

Have you ever felt like you were betrayed by the one person you thought would be the least likely person that would betray you?

I know betray is such a strong word and well...I don't know...that's what I feel right now.

When you think that you can trust a person with everything and it looks like that person also trusts you with everything, then suddenly you found out that she was keeping a big secret from you.

Ok? Confusing. Let's try another approach.

Example:

Person A trusts Person B with everything and vice versa. Then all of a sudden Person A finds out that Person B is keeping somthing from Person A. That secret concerns both of them. So why didn't Person B tell Person A?

Something like that.

Right now, I feel like that I've been such a good friend to a person and he/she repays me not the same way.

If you had a problem with a person, you tell them right?

Guess not.

___________________________________________________________________

Sorry! Just had to get that out of my chest.

If ever man may natamaan I am so sorry! Sorry talaga kailangan ko lang talagang maglabas ng galit.

So SORRY! Please forgive me! (if ever nga may natamaan!)

* I had to right this as soon as I got home. The blog entries for Buwan ng Wika will be written tomorrow. :)

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I squeezed myself through the screen gate of Veritas Parochial School. I didn't want to harm anyone, I just wanted to find a dry palce where I could stay until the rain lifts up.

But maybe staying outside and the possibility of being caught in the flood and it's current would have been a much better decision that the one I made.

When I finally got in the school, I was met with screams of the students. Students which I have deduced were high school students.

Some I saw stood on their seats while others screamed. This weren't just girls but i saw boys too.

Well what else could a rat do in the particular situation. Ofcourse only one thing and that is run.

I ran till I reached a multi-colored floor. it was next to the wall. I stopped for a while figuring out what to do next then I saw a man with a dustpan in hand.

He forced me to it using the wall and a plastic bottle. At first I didn't want to, I tried to climb up the dustpan's handle but couldn't because he steadied me with the bottle.

In the end it turned up alright. After my misshap in the school, and dealt with screaming students, I finally found a dry place to stay.

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Hahaha. I made a story. I'm not sure what happened to the rat after it was captured by the janitor but I hoped it found a nice place to stay until the rain stops.

It was raining hard at our dismissal today August 26, 2008 at 4. So hard the floods began to trap us inside.

So I waited at out cafeteria with the other high school students because the elementary were dismissed earlier.

Honestly, the students screamed their lungs out in the cafeteria this afternoon at around 4 because of the rat.

I know its a sewer rat because of it's size and color. Big and Black.

It was fun actually.

Martin and I were talking when Niko a freshmen, said that their was a rat near the old gate. So at first we were like ok no big deal.

But it was a big deal because the rat found a way inside. I studied the scene after the incident. It chewed a hole in the gate's screen and that's how it got in.

When the rat finally got inside, screamed were heard. Some stood on their seats. Martin and I remained seated in ours. Martin even said, "Tingnan natin."

So we stood up and saw the rat cornered on the wall. It fought but still it was captured.

Then the students regained their composure and started talking again with one another.

It was actually pretty funny.

"This is the best day of my entire life."

I quoted my classmate. He said this last August 20, 2008 at 11 a.m. when our adviser, Ms. A told us that classes are suspended from 12 noon onwards.

Alright maybe I exaggerated what he really said but the meaning is the same because when Ms. A told us about the suspension we all exclaimed in delight!.

Now I reminisce.

Suspenison of classes is a rare thing especially if it happens when your already in school and half the day is over.

It's fun actually when the teacher announces it. Because the second it leaves her mouth the shouts of joys and delight drown her other words.

I remember when I was a 5th Grader in myschool and I remember we were having our English class with Ms. Jo and then the school administrator called her out of our classroom byt hen we already knew what she was about to say when we heard the screams of the other class.

Suspension of classes is much more fun when your in elementary and in high school than when it is in college. And in college, it doesn't happen that often that in the elementary and high school department.

We were practicing in the gymnasium of our school when Ms. A told us about the weather and we just got out of control with joy.

Not that I hate school but a little bit of rest and relaxation was very much needed because of the previous weeks test.

Whew.

A lot of people expect a lot from the graduating batch.

When I wasn't a senior, I expected a lot from the Seniors I grew up with. they were the ones that were supposed to take command. they were the ones who were supposed to be a model we will follow.

But now that I am Senior, i realize that it is hard to fill in the expectations of so many. I believe I can pass through the expectations of people from me. I just never really expected that it was hard.

Seniors are the main models of the school. They are the leaders. They are the Ates and Kuyas of the other students.

But aside from those things they are also students who do have a lot of difficulties too. People expect that since you're graduating you're are the oldest students you are more mature. more intelligent and more responsible.

We are in sense all of those things. But to concentrate on those expectations and to be able to concentrate on stuides and responsibilities takes a lot of effort from a person which makes everyone go home tired, exhausted.

But what I say to those challenges, bring it on!! This is my last year and I plan to make the best out of it!