Welcome back to reality
Technically it's tomorrow but maybe I really need to prepare myself already.
School is back on tomorrow. For most people, it was today. I, on the other hand, school starts tomorrow.
I did go to school today for a while to fix my sections. Now I'm taking Cognitive Psychology under a good teacher who I've had before. Down side, I have to wake up very early just to be sure I get to his class on time.
I haven't really written a worthy blog entry for quite some time now. I've always rushed it, never really thinking about writing but was more fixated on updating this with an entry for each day of the year (which never seems to happen for the past three years this blog has been up.)
My last third term in college starts tomorrow and well the issue of the future came up again and I find myself more confused than ever about it. What do I do after college? What will my job be like? I said I wanted something out of the ordinary, something adventurous but those aren't practical at all. There's imaginative, I need to be realistic.
But in the end, I'd rather be poor but imaginative than rich and realistic.
I guess what brought this up is tomorrow. Start of the final third term of my life...I guess I'm just scared...terrified. But again who isn't.
I'll Always Remember
This is a personal post.
Ten years ago today, (August 26, 2011), I lost my brother to cancer. I was very young at the time it happened, but I can still remember that day.
No one really told me that he died. When my sister was supposed to, I knew it was hard for her to say those words. I just told her, "I know." I remembered she cried so hard and I just stood there.
It's been ten years. Things are very different. I'm in college and my sister's getting married in less than a month. My mind wonders what would it have been like if my brother was still alive.
But most of all, that experienced brought me a realization about how hard it is to stay strong in the face on cancer. My brother sometimes would tell me that he couldn't take it anymore and he just wanted for it to stop. But after realizing what he said, he would take it back and say that he needed to stay strong because he knew that he could beat cancer. He would not let it eat his whole life.
I remember he even went to a school dance even with his condition. He never let his life be defined but his cancer but by who he was, the athlete, the joker, the usual gamer/teenager.
A decade ago, I lost my brother to cancer. I pray for all those people who are fighting it. Keep strong and remember that you're not alone in your endeavor!
Harry Potter changed my life.
People really take advantage of a lot of things...
If any of you reading this is from De La Salle University then you will know what I am talking about...
Right now I am very pissed at something/someone/some people. I know maybe I am judging them/it but I am feeling I am in the right...
It's just how they/it took advantage of certain current events that they want to boost their popularity. From my point of view, you aren't helping anyone at all and you're certainly making yourself a target of bad reps from those above.
Do yourself a favor and just don't act like you're too important when the people are what's truly important. Everyone is doing something for everyone else. And maybe the reason why the people you are fighting are taking their time is because they have a lot to loose.
Do yourself a favor and quit being such an ass about things. You're not making yourself look good, you aren't making your rival look any less and you are certainly not helping the people.
I am neither for you or against you but geez, enough is enough already. What are you the public's voice. The people have voiced out their concern already and they don't need you riding on it, showing off like you are some sort of hero.
Just stop it. You're not helping at all.
The weirdest account in my life...
I was in De La Salle University, Andrew Building earlier, having my History class. My professor, who I will argue is older than my parents, was talking about how the Philippines isn't progressing because it is a buyer of products and not a producer of exports.
Suddenly, out of the blue, I saw a white plastic bag floating in mid air. I know this may not necessarily be a very fascinating thing, but I was in the 10th floor of the building, a building with very high ceiling I may add.
I mean, if I would describe it, the white plastic bag was flying. Dragged around by the breeze and even went across the Enrique building which is only 10 floors. I mean it was flying. Having no care whatsoever and just letting the wind push itself in the right direction.
I couldn't take my eyes off it. (Arguably, it was only about 20 seconds that the plastic flew in front of the window.) But it was at the exact same time, that my History professor was stating that it was about time that the Philippines soared to new heights.
Analogy, the Philippines was that plastic bag and it flew not by itself but with the help of the wind. If the Philippines is the bag, what is the wind? A question that I will not answer but let you, the reader, answer for yourself.
The biggest influence in my life...everything I did with my brother.
I don't know why....I just don't know why I am making such a big deal of the 9th year that he is in heaven.
Before, this day was an ordinary day. Sure it was his last here on Earth but today, this year, this 9th time something is different.
Maybe I'm just pitying myself because of stress in school...
It's just this August 26, 2010 is different from the past 9 August 26 that my brother has been dead.
Something is different about today that I feel I just should write about it.
I meant the title above. Everything I am today, a fan of Anime and a lot of other boyish stuff is all because of my brother. He introduced me to all of this, so if there is someone to blame for me being childish most of the time, it would have to be my brother.
Reached a mental block here. Something is really different this 9th year. Is it really because of the bad news I got earlier today? Or is it because it is also the last day of the term? I really don't know.
I mean, I can't even remember what happened last year on this day....
But I clearly remember what I was doing at any given time exactly today, 9 years ago.
Why am I making such a fuss about today? Why am I such making a fuss about my deceased brother on his 9th death anniversary?
Maybe its because I got used to the fact already that we are really 4 in the family and not 5... Is it because of that?
Do I blame him for what I received this morning in class?
Am I scared that he'll suddenly show up and scold me for all the things I have promised but never did?
All I know is I am making such a big deal about today and I really don't know why...
It's actually a big relief writing all this down. I don't know if I want people to actually read this or not but I will post in anywhere I want to...
I do miss my brother. I wished we had more time together. I'm envious when I hear my friends talk about how close they are with their older brothers, how even if they tease each other, they still love spending time with one another.
Maybe that's it...I can't really remember having a brother figure in life and I wish I could but it was such a long time ago. I miss having him around. Someone to goof of with. Someone who can drive me wherever I want....but I highly doubt Kuya Ricky would do that.
I'm making such a big deal of today that I don't even know if I want this day to end or not.
All I know is today is the 26th of August. A lot of people are celebrating their birthdays, a lot of my friends are celebrating their birthdays. My family is celebrating his birthday in heaven.
Exactly 9 years ago today, my brother died. I don't even know the cause of death but I don't care. He had Bone Cancer. He was 15 when he died.
He died without any of us near him. He was on his bed, in his room, all alone.
And what i truly and utterly know. What is true, what is a fact....is that I miss him and I love him.
Funny how life is...
We were doing a video about Math in everyday life. We wrapped it up earlier today.
Now as I was listening to music and surfed some pictures on TUMBLR, I saw something. In Tumblr, there is a Radar of things in the site that might amuse the user. As I looked at it, I was surprised.
It was titled "Mathematics in Movies". And I thought to myself, "Man this should have appeared earlier."
It is weird that it would show up now when we are finally finished because some of the ideas we could have used. But I guess a perfectly cliche phrase can sum up this moment.
"Oh well..."